Tip #70 Smile!

from "82 Tips for Thriving in the Workplace."
(A selection from Stress Management)

SMILE!
I mean... really smile! You’re gonna get wrinkles anyway… might as well come from smiling than frowning. And research shows a smile can fool your mind into thinking things aren’t so bad after all.

An Example:
A girlfriend told me the following story today. She began hanging around with a new friend who has the habit of a ready smile. Wherever they went, her friend had a smile for everyone. One day Charlotte asked, "How do you feel if they don't smile back?" Smiling, of course, this was her girlfriend's response. "It doesn't affect me. In fact, I don't even really notice ." So Charlotte, almost by osmosis, started smiling more. And what did she notice? "I actually started to feel better, and not only emotionally. Physically I started feeling better too. And my posture improved." Why do you think your posture improved, I inquired. "Because," she continued, "smiling somehow made me feel better in general and when I feel better I stand taller."

Come on... I can see the corners of your mouth trying to curl...

Reverse Psychology for Success

A surprising new take on some old ideas!

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY FOR SUCCESS
By Dr. John Eliot

There's No Such Thing as Overconfidence
The best in every business are likely to strike most people as irrationally confident, but that's how they got to the top.

Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Michael Dell — they first believed in themselves, utterly, and let their belief be their guide. Sure they experienced numerous obstacles and setbacks and failures. Confidence allowed them to keep getting up and looking for ways to move forward. Most importantly, leaders like Branson and Gates prioritized believing in the people around them. Confidence is also not arrogance, and unless your employees think that they're better human beings in general than everyone else, let them believe that they're good enough to do exceptional things.

Legends Never Say They're Sorry
Having a long or frequent memory for mistakes and a short or infrequent memory for successes is a guaranteed way to develop fear of failure. High achievers dwell on what they do well — and spend very little time evaluating themselves and their performances.

Learn from your mistakes? Of course. The road to success is full of adversity from which we can gain significant insight. The key, however, is to set aside specific, deliberate times for evaluation. Process setbacks, errors, and your performance in general only at times when you have planned to.

The alternative is to get caught up in second-guessing, doubt, and worry whenever things look a bit gray. You excel during the tough moments by having a positive blueprint to look at — and to have a positive blueprint, you have to spend a lot of time looking at the image of success.

The Best Need Stress
Classic breathing and relaxation exercises tend to undermine performances, eliminating the possibility of setting records. Think of stress as the high-level performer's PowerBar. By relaxing, you slow down the heart and keep much-needed blood, oxygen, neurotransmitters, and adrenaline from stimulating your senses and cerebral cortex.

The so-called detriment of stress is the psychological interpretation you place on critical situations, not the stress itself. If you want to perform at your best, change the lens through which you view stress. Don't reduce it — in fact, increase the stress more often.

Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
Unlikely accomplishments are born out of single-minded purposefulness. Future superstars don't get there by keeping part of their heart in reserve.

I often tell executives to stop multitasking. Multitasking is merely doing a bunch of things half-heartedly all at once. Isn't the idea to perform at your utmost? If you truly want to find out what your potential is, you've got to pour everything you've got into one thing at a time. If you hold back, you'll never know.

And if you put all your eggs in one basket and drop the basket? Guess what: They'll make more eggs, and there are plenty of baskets to choose from.

Only Wimps Weigh the Risks
For exceptional people, risk equals reward. The challenge of uncertainty is the fun of doing the job in the first place — and where overachievement lies.

High achievers do not look for the safest, most comfortable, or sure solution. That would not push them or their companies to grow. Growth is the key — something stockholders certainly understand. But growing requires going to new places and thinking new things — not succeeding at the new, but learning from the process regardless of outcome.

Michael Jordan, perhaps the most legendary basketball player of all time, based his entire performance philosophy on the notion: "I am a success because I have failed more times than anyone in history."

Perhaps you can find some of Michael in you!?

Learn more about Dr. Eliot and his powerful new program,
The Maverick Mindset.
© 2005 Nightingale-Conant Corporation

Tip #18 Saying No - Politely

from "82 Tips for Thriving in the Workplace."
(A selection from Time Management)

SAY NO— POLITELY
Overwhelmed? Have way too much to do? Learn to say no—politely. Or if your schedule permits, offer alternatives. “I’d like to help you and this is what I am currently working on for this week. I’ll be in a better place to help you next week—will that work?”, for example. Gain respect from colleagues and friends by appropriately communicating your limits.

An example:
A client of mine in the manufacturing business reported an extremely beneficial outcome after testing new behavior on one of her vendors who was pushing for last minute manufacturing orders - again - requiring my client to twist herself into the pretzel as she usually did regardless of her established and well-communicated procedures.

This time, my client, sitting on a beach in Montauk, Long Island, said one little word that changed everything. "No." No, she said, it could not be done. She said it nicely but directly and gave the reasons why. This new behavior, something we were working on together, was scary for my client because she believed she would lose the business. But she decided losing the business was better than losing her mind!

The outcome?

Her customer waited and the order was fulfilled. What happened after that? This vendor later placed a huge order with my client and has since become one of her best customers, not only in size of business, but in their working relationship. Her customer learned to respect her procedures because of one little word - "no" - said politely.